


And Loving her was Red

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Post-Break Up, Sherlock's POV, because I don't like sad endings!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-07 00:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4241703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock reflects on his past relationship with Molly by way of color association (and other things) and makes a decision. (Wow, I suck at writing summaries) Inspired by the video||Sherlolly||Loving her was red by MrsMidna. Check it out it's beautiful! I really hope I did it justice!</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Loving her was Red

I was lying sideways in my chair. I hadn't eaten or spoken in days much to John's dismay. 1 month, 3 weeks, 2 days, 4 hours, 26 minutes, and 52 seconds. That's how long it had been since Molly had said, "It's over! I can't put up with you and your heartless behaviour anymore, but I love you too much to try to change you!" with tears streaming down her face. It was time to accept that it was over, after we had been together for 3 months.  
  
I had expected it, of course, I'm an impossible man to love. I knew my cold demeanor was going to drive her away eventually, but that didn't mean I was prepared for it to hurt this much. Or at all, as I am terrible with feelings.  
  
I had never understood why people said they were "blue" when they were sad before that day. Becuase "sad" wasn't enough to describe my feelings that day. Losing Molly was blue. Blue like I'd never known. It hurt worse than Redbeard's death.  
  
And as I grew to miss Molly more and more, that blue I was feeling somehow morphed into gray. It started out the shade of a rain cloud, then got darker when I found out she was with some guy. (Chris? I think his was. What ever, it's not important.) And I felt alone, even though John, Mrs. Hudson, and, occasionally, Mycroft were around me.  
  
I tried to forget her, of course. But that turned out be as impossible as knowing a person you've never met. I slowly began to realize that I couldn't forget her becuase I didn't _want _to. I never wanted to forget Molly, Because loving her was red. It was warm, it was passionate, and it was beautiful. And I missed it dearly.__  
  
Through holding her, kissing her, touching her, I had realised that a relationship with her was not only _not _the waste of time and energy I thought it was going to be, it was everything I ever wanted and it was right there in front of me the whole time.__  
  
A few stray tears escaped my eyes as I remembered learning about Molly, I had enjoyed it, she was fascinating, and memorizing her was like knowing the words to your old favorite song, It was easy for me because I wanted to do it. I wanted to know every little detail about her and I did. Her favorite movie (The Maltese Falcon), her favorite song (Let Her Go by Passenger), her favorite color (pink), everything. It got to the point to where I knew her as well as I knew myself. Not that it mattered anymore. We were done.  
  
I got up, walked over to the kitchen table, and picked up the antique maginifying glass she'd gotten me as an apology gift after our first fight. (I'd gotten her a locket. John helped me pick it out, as I'm not good with gifts.) I don't remember what the fight was about, but I remember it was as frustrating as attempting to solve a crossword puzzle, and realising there was no right answer. What ever it was we were fighting over, we were both wrong. And we both apologised and spent the rest of the night in bed showing eachother how sorry we were and how much we loved each other. Of course that wasn't our only fight, we fought 72% of the time. And each fight was just as frustrating.  
  
John had come home to see me staring at the magnify glass forlornly. "You're not regretting your relationship, are you?" He asked, looking at me sympathetically. "Five years ago, I would've been," I answered, "five years ago I would've used our break up to prove why relationships are a terrible idea. But now that I've learned how strong love can be, I just miss it. And I want her back."  
  
"You should tell her that," John suggested. Like I hadn't already thought of that, there was one problem with that idea though...  
  
"She's with somebody else now!" I replied. John looked at me in disbelief, "Do you really think that idiot is the one for her?" He scoffed.  
  
"No, of course not!" What a stupid thing to ask.  
  
"Then tell her how you feel!" He shouted, "Tell her you want her back, and if she says 'no', than at least you can say you tried." I thought about it for a minute, and though I'd be loathed to admit it, John did have a point.  
  
"Alright," I said, after five minutes. I got up, walked over to my laptop, and started typing an e-mail.  
  
**Dear Molly,**  
**I know I seemed heartless, like I didn't have feelings. But you must know that isn't true. Because I have always had feelings for you. I've just never been good with voicing them. Or acting on them. But I will give it a try now: I love you, Molly Hooper. I have always loved you. And I realised that when you told me that day 2 years ago that you didn't count. Because like I said you have always counted.**  
  
**I was ecstatic when I found your engagement to Tom was off, and even more so when you agreed to be my girlfriend. And it broke my heart when you told me it was over. It broke my heart worse to know that I had broken yours and I am truly sorry.**  
  
**I want you to know that I still love you and I still want to be with you. But I'll understand if you say no. Especially considering Chris. But, please consider it.**  
  
**I love you, Molly.**  
**SH**  
  
I hit send just as John got done ordering take out. We ate, watched crap telly and went to bed. I woke up the next morning, checked my e-mail and found this response:  
  
**Dear Sherlock,**  
**That has to be the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said said to me! And I'm sorry as well. When I left you, it was after a REALLY rough day at work. But I should have just told you that. Even though you are really smart, expecting you to just know that was wrong.** (I frowned, I should have known that! How could I have missed that Molly'd had a bad day at work that day? I'd have to figure that out later. I kept reading.)  
  
**I wanted to get back together with you the day after I left you, but I didn't think you'd take me back. You'd seemed so hurt that I was certain you wouldn't want to take me back. I've never been so happy to be wrong before! Don't worry about Chris and I, we broke up two days ago.**  
  
**I love you too. Would you like to have coffee tomorrow morning?**  
  
**Molly xxx**  
  
I smiled widely at my laptop, then jumped and spun through the air shouting, "Yes! Brilliant!" I looked at my clock, 8:15 a.m. I had 45 minutes until Molly got to work.  
  
I quickly dressed, shouted a quick good-bye to a very stunned looking John, grabbed my coat and scarf, and hailed a cab to take me to the cafe next to Bart's. Once there, I ordered what Molly would order the two times a week she'd go there.(Double chocolate mocha and two blueberry scones.) And ran into Bart's Lab, with 15 minutes to spare. Ten minutes later, I sent Molly a text reading: _Black, two sugars, please. I'm upstairs. :)_.  
  
Molly came up with my coffee and a very confused look on her face. The confusion wore of when I held up the coffee cup and the bag containing the scones and whispered, "Good morning, Beautiful."  
  
She beamed and my warmth entered my chest. She set my cup down, took her cup and the bag out my hands set them down too, reached up and kissed me, and I was out of gray and back in red.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this turned out _way_ more sappy than I had intended! As usual constructive criticism is appreciated.


End file.
